Published: March 04, 2008 11:33 am            

John McCain's strange solution

“Last week the big rumor, according to the New York Times, is John McCain was allegedly sleeping with an attractive young lobbyist. Well, the story has pretty much gone away. In fact, the only one trying to keep it alive now? John McCain.”

Jay Leno

Last week, after sitting on the story for months, The New York Times ran a weak hearsay story implying that John McCain had an affair with a young blond lobbyist in 2000. The paper calls such a story breaking news.

When curiously timed left-serving stories like this surface, we can certainly tell it is campaign season again. All I can say is, smear we go again!

Many, including myself, believe the Times sat on this story because McCain was the most liberal of all major GOP candidates and breaking the story in December would have advanced more conservative candidates like Huckabee and Romney, since such rumors of infidelity mostly hurt a candidate with primary voters and the religious right.

Although he is no doubt a great American hero, McCain does have to contend with the negatives of being liberal and potentially the oldest President to ever take office. Of course McCain’s age is an issue based solely on the fact that he is so old. Indeed, the Arizona senator is getting to the point when he can soon hide his own Easter eggs.That aside, it occurs to me that it might backfire on the left and lend some ammunition to the notion that maybe McCain is not that old after all and that he still has some giddy up in him.

Perhaps too, if he did do to the lobbyist what lobbyist have been doing to us taxpayers for years, there might be a sense of payback in such a dalliance.

McCain’s first marriage was to a model. He married Cindy Hensley, his current blond wife, one month after his divorce in 1980. Men seem to recovery quickly. She was a former cheerleader and rodeo queen whose family owns one of the country’s largest Anheuser-Busch distributorships. We Southern males call that a marital trifecta.

The main reason men go to Washington D.C. is to be a big deal in hopes of attracting women; it is really, at its core, why men do pretty much everything. That is why when I was at school in D.C and working there, we called Washington D.C. “Hollywood for Ugly People”. How else do you explain the romance between a troll like Alan Greenspan and the TV reporter Andrea Mitchell? That does not just happen. When she met him, it was mainly her economic indicator that rose.

What will be made of the purported McCain affair is that he lacks judgment. And this troubles me, but for different reasons. His first marriage was to a blond, followed a month after his divorce by marriage to another blond. Then, he was supposedly cavorting with a similar-looking blond lobbyist. My question to John McCain is what part of strange do you not understand?

Men are quite predictable in this, and in fact, in almost every way. As a gender, we really are not much. Bill Clinton was drawn towards trashy heavy women, which kind of explains his current wife Hillary (Her Thighness) Rodham-Clinton. Men are destined to make the same sexual mistakes over and over since such decisions are more driven by anthropology than logic. I said years ago that Bill Clinton has disappointed more fat women that Jenny Craig. Hillary is just another woman who will have slept with Bill for no political gain come next week.

We should really focus more on the policy decisions, administrative skills and philosophy of a candidate than the gossip magazine trash about who they might be spending private time with. Eliminating a man without any purported vices would have kept the world from having Thomas Jefferson, Winston Churchill. FDR, Dwight Eisenhower, JFK, Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton.

And if McCain does have two women in his life, that should be punishment enough by having to please them both. It is probably why on average men die seven years earlier than women. There is no bigger deterrent to fooling around than the prospect of an early grave. And should the culprit marry his mistress, it just opens up that position for someone else.



Ron Hart is a Southern libertarian columnist who writes a weekly column about politics and life. He worked for Goldman Sachs and was appointed to The Tennessee Board of Regents by Lamar Alexander. His E-mail: RevRon10@aol.com











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