Opinion

January 8, 2014

Letter: Obama 2014 State of the Union

Here are excerpts from Barack Obama’s upcoming State of the Union address. Do not ask how I obtained them.

“Well, here we are, five years into my reign, er ... presidency. My mission, as I told you from the beginning, was to fundamentally transform this country. Let’s see how I’m doing.

“To start with, I have completely taken over the health care system — a whopping one-sixth of the economy. It’s a mess, of course. Millions have lost their coverage. Tens of millions more will follow this year. Doctors are quitting left and right. This is all by my design. When the chaos has maxed out, everyone of you will be clamoring for the single-payer system I wanted in the first place.

“Eventually, the U.S. will have socialized medicine just like all the advanced European nations and Canada. It won’t work worth a crap. We all know that. But the important thing is I have totally screwed up the best health care system in the world. How’s that for a ‘fundamental transformation?’

“What about the economy? It was in a terrible state when I took over in 2009. I blamed it on George W. Bush, although the truth is that Bill Clinton and Barney Frank were the real heroes, using the Community Reinvestment Act to eventually collapse the housing industry and the entire U.S. economy along with it.

“In my five years, I have made things much worse. Millions of folks have left the workforce, never to return. Obamacare will force tens of thousands of small business owners to lay off their employees or downgrade them to part time.

“Meanwhile, bailouts, unemployment benefits, welfare, food stamps, taxes and all the rest just skyrocket. It’s a thing of great beauty: ruining the greatest economic system the world has ever known. That’s two for two.

“And, how about those fun-loving folks at the National Security Agency? They are currently monitoring and recording your phone calls, emails, bank and credit card transactions, and Internet activity.

“An enormous spy facility being built in Utah is near completion. Eventually, your entire life, from cradle to grave, will be recorded there. So much for your constitutionally guaranteed right to privacy. Nice, huh? Three for three.

“By the way, a word to the wise: Be very careful what you write or say about me for the next three years. I may wake up one morning and decide to stop being Mr. Nice Guy.”

David Wycherley

Rocky Face

1
Text Only
Opinion
  • We must do better

    The numbers tell a sad tale.
    Registered voters: 36,843.
    Cards cast: 5,307.
    That means the turnout for Tuesday’s runoffs in Whitfield County was a measly 14.4 percent, according to unofficial results from the Whitfield County elections office.

    July 23, 2014

  • Letter: Control immigration

    Thousands are starting to pour into our country, and things are getting personal. Why would we end up the bad guys if we turn away children who aren’t ours? How does it make us better people to let one man steal from our children and stand by and do nothing?

    July 23, 2014

  • Helping with Book Blast betters the community

    The school test results are in, and students in Whitfield and Murray counties mostly improved from a year ago, mirroring or exceeding average scores of their peers.

    July 23, 2014

  • Mark Millican: Guns are already everywhere

    Though it happened over 30 years ago, the image is still vivid.

    July 22, 2014

  • Charles Oliver: Former officer works overtime improperly

    Stephen F. Hall has pleaded guilty to theft by deception and falsifying a government record.

    July 22, 2014

  • Dalton council should seek answers

    Judicial elections in this area are usually pretty staid. In fact, they are generally nonexistent, since most judges run unopposed.

    July 21, 2014

  • Letter: Something to think about

    It has been better than four months now since Malaysia Flight 370 went missing. During that time we have heard all kinds of speculation, conjecture and opinions as to what happened to it. The only certainties to emerge are that the Malaysians fumbled the ball early on and there are some understandably distressed loved ones left to deal with their losses.

    July 21, 2014

  • Don’t forget the runoff

    Most folks are either getting ready for or still recovering from their summer vacations. So it’s easy to forget that Tuesday is an election day. A runoff election day to be precise.

    July 20, 2014

  • Be excited about a new grocery store, but stay loyal to the Green Spot

    The Daily Citizen reported on the front page of the July 15 newspaper that Dalton could get a new grocery store.

    July 19, 2014

  • John O. Schwenn: Making college completion easier

    There are, within the state of Georgia, an estimated 1.1 million adults who started a college degree program and never finished.

    July 19, 2014