Even after I kicked off my penny loafers and sucked in my gut, the scales still registered 212.
And that was just the second indignity. As soon as I walked into the clinic room to get a sore throat checked out a familiar nurse from years past asked me how old I was now.
“Is that any way to welcome a guy back?” I retorted.
She laughed and then I gave my age — to her.
During the weighing process the nurse began by setting the heavy weight slide to 150, so I let her know right away that wasn’t going to work — she would have to start at 200. Then she just kept tapping ...
tapping it up.
I felt my blood pressure rising. Isn’t that the temperature water starts to boil?
That may not seem like an immodest number to some, but it was a slap in the face to someone who has sworn for years he would do whatever it takes to get a middle-aged, out-of-shape, rugby player-like body under 200 pounds. What hurts so much is just a few months ago I had hovered around 202 to 204. Finally the goal was within grasp, I dreamed! Just a few more reps here and there in the fitness room and some longer walks, right?
But then came a new job with a different set of stressors and more time behind a desk, and trying to find the right amount of exercise in a new environment.
212. You’re kidding, right?
Because it’s not like I haven’t tried, having cut out sodas and sweet tea years ago, then decreasing red meat consumption to an occasional barbecue sandwich or a bowl of chili at Wendy’s. But do they have to put a picture of a Frosty up there on the illuminated menu board above the counter where you order? It’s one of those visual orientation things with me, I guess, like the seafood — “see food, eat food” — diet.
My sole addiction these days is coffee, and truth be told, at times I drink more of it than water in a day. Since one of the dictums of weight loss is drinking lots of water, it appears I’m spoiling my own efforts there since …
1) Water is needed to flush fat-laden toxins out of one’s system; and
2) Coffee is a diuretic that flushes water from the body. So essentially I’m flushing my own efforts.
But wait! I read somewhere that if you eat one apple a day over a year’s time the fiber you consume will carry away four pounds of weight. Well, I may not eat one a day every day of the year but during apple season I might consume three or four a day. Does that not compensate?
Evidently not, judging by my increasing waistline. Speaking of which, I read somewhere that a male’s waist in inches should be half his body height. Let’s see, I’m 5-foot-10, which means 70 inches tall divided by two translates into a 35-inch waist.
When you’re stuck on 38, those are big inches.
The way my weight loss program is going (obviously in the wrong direction), it looks like I’m going to have to subscribe to the “set point” theory of weight accumulation. That is, for an adult who’s having trouble losing pounds their body has about a 10 percent “cushion” on either side of their average weight where they go up and down but never get the loss they desire. In other words, at 200 pounds one would have a range of 20 pounds where their weight fluctuates according to environment, stress, weight loss attempts, etc.
At least, that’s pretty much the summary of an explanation given at bigfatblog.com. And yet I’m stuck — er, set — on the topside of that 200!
My wife is a great cook and prepares healthy meals. So you see, “set point” for yours truly seems to be working pretty much like this — every time I find myself “set” down at the table I seem to make it a “point” to overeat. In other words, for me, rather than doing pushups on the floor I should be doing “pushaways” from the table.
Oh well, there’s always New Year’s resolutions. Just wait till next year!
(After the holidays, of course.)
Letter: The difference between fair and just
Fair is a juvenile concept that even the most pedestrian thinker can grasp. It is really nothing more than a word summarizing an emotional reaction based on limited information and flawed logic. It actually has very little to do with justice or bringing about and achieving a just result in any sort of disagreement.
LetterL A letter to Mr. Charles Bowen
You may have been the most beloved and admired person in this community.
Letter: Wage inequality persists in U.S.
Currently wages and salaries nationally as a portion of the economy is again near the record low of 2011
Letter: An appreciation of David Pennington
When you took office six years ago as mayor, I did not know you personally, but during these six years, you have earned my respect and my trust. I now consider you and your family as dear friends.
Amanda Burt: Another successful campaign
“This has been a year of everyday, ordinary people becoming heroes, stepping in to fill the service gaps and needs in our community,” proclaimed board chair Celeste Creswell, as she opened the United Way Annual Meeting this week.
Kudos to all who are seeking elected office
Qualifying for local and state elections ended Friday, and while many incumbents will be running unopposed, there are a few surprises in the mix.
Charlie Bowen will be missed
Finding someone in Dalton who doesn’t know — or at least hasn’t heard of — Charlie Bowen could be difficult.
Citizen of the Week: Tressia Brooks Watkins
Some individuals might perform random acts of kindness in hopes they’ll receive some sort of recognition. Not Tressia Brooks Watkins.
Getting a HOPE scholarship will get more difficult next year, as some long overdue requirements start to kick in.
Voters, candidates deserve debates
Qualifying for local elections doesn’t end until Friday, but it’s already clear voters will have some good choices.
- More Opinion Headlines
- Letter: The difference between fair and just