July 24, 2013

Misty Watson: Pandering to the pipsqueak

I always knew July 22 was a day for royalty.

After all, it is my birthday. Even my mom called me a queen on Monday on Facebook. Of course, she had placed “drama” in front of queen, but I’m sure that was just a typo. Oops, Mom. I bet your face was red when you realized your mistake.

It seems as though July 22 has become even more royal as a little British pipsqueak entered the world, dominating headlines across the globe.

As I celebrated my 31st birthday, Duchess Kate gave birth to a baby boy at 4:24 p.m. I’m sure Prince William was hanging out in the room playing on his phone as she labored at the end of her tether and exclaimed “Oh that smarts a bit!”

Sharing a birthday with the royal baby boy puts me in line for the throne now, right?

Actually, I don’t understand the obsession some Americans have for the royal family. When Kate and William got married I knew people who stayed up all night making tea and crumpets and wearing fascinators on their heads, tissues in hand waiting on the tears to fall.

I thought we declared our independence from England years ago.

But now many people are turning their attention back to England to celebrate the birth of royalty. I think more Americans are tweeting about the royal baby than the English.

Some people even watched live streaming video of the Lindo Wing of St. Mary’s Hospital in London where Kate gave birth. I’m not sure what they expected to see. Was there an official decree each time Kate progressed a centimeter? Each time she pushed?

Kate and William made their first public appearance on Tuesday.

I watched a clip of the baby’s royal debut. As Kate handed her son off to her husband, surrounded by so many members of the media, I really expected him to hold the baby over his head like Rafiki does Simba in The Lion King. I kept waiting on “The Circle of Life” to play in the background, but only ever played in my head. (Does this mean Prince Henry has become the evil Scar?)

The royal baby didn’t look so special to me.

The new parents said they had changed their baby’s first nappy. Oh, wonderful. We even get to hear about the baby’s dirty diapers ... because I don’t deal with that enough on a daily basis as it is. I wonder how long that will last before it becomes the job of the couple’s least favorite servant?

The BBC reports William said, “He’s got a good pair of lungs on him, that’s for sure. He’s a big boy, he’s quite heavy. We are still working on a name so we will have that as soon as we can.”

When I read that what I really see is: “He won’t quit screaming. I haven’t slept since he was born. I’m too weak to hold an 8-pound baby. And I have no idea what to call the little bugger because you won’t leave me alone long enough to think of a name which won’t be ridiculed.”

Well, that really came up trumps, didn’t it?

Actually I felt sorry for Kate. I didn’t change out of my purple yoga pants for the first two weeks after Sophie was born. And I totally rocked the new mom ponytail and the two-day old spit-up stain on my shirt. But here she was the day after giving birth, in a dress with perfect hair and makeup. I didn’t notice any spit-up on her dress.

At that point, I was just happy to have a shower. (I know some of the moms out there know what I’m talking about.)

I wonder just how far we’re going to take this obsession with the baby. Even Blue Ivy and Suri must be feeling slighted by now.

What’s next for the royal baby? A live-stream of the Christening? A play-by-play of the circumcision?

Or maybe he will take after his grandfather, Prince Charles, and be another damp squib in England.

Murray County native Misty Watson is a photographer and writer for The Daily Citizen. You can write to her at mistywatson@daltoncitizen.com, facebook.com/MistyWatsonDCN or on Twitter, @mistydwatson.

Text Only
  • Citizen of the Week: Kacee Smith of the Georgia Rampage

    When the Georgia Rampage became Dalton’s first professional indoor football team last year, it would have been easy for the owner and players to focus only on drawing attention to themselves as they tried to build up the team’s following.

    April 18, 2014

  • Successes continue at Dalton State College

    These are exciting times for our local college, Dalton State, both on campus and off.

    April 16, 2014

  • Mark Millican: The birds hushed their singing

    For the uninitiated, that line is from what many consider the greatest rock song of all time, “Stairway to Heaven,” by Led Zeppelin.

    April 15, 2014

  • Misty Watson: When blood sugar drops, anger rises

    It wouldn’t have taken 107 married couples and 21 days to figure out that being hungry makes people angry.

    April 15, 2014

  • Working for the man

    You may be one of the many Americans who will rush to file their income taxes today. But you may not yet have earned enough money to pay all of the taxes that will be imposed on you this year.

    April 15, 2014

  • Letter: The glib tongue, the fake smile

    A recent Daily Citizen column by Walter Williams will both awaken and frighten any thinking person who claims even a smidgen of knowledge about — or belief in —  either the Bible, world history or current events.

    April 15, 2014

  • College soccer team would bring local talent together

    Dreams of combining the best soccer players from all local high schools into one team finally could come true.

    April 13, 2014

  • Letter: Primaries feature many choices

    Many people are confused this year about the May 20 Election Day. Unfortunately, very few voters in Whitfield County actually go to the polls for a primary election. But this means any increase in participation can have a significant impact.

    April 12, 2014

  • Letter: Hooper for Murray chief magistrate

    Thanks to all the wonderful people and friends who backed me for District 1 Murray County Board of Education. You sure showed a lot of support. Sorry I had to step down due to my and my wife’s health. I am a lot better now.

    April 12, 2014

  • Judicial dispute could have been avoided

    Judicial elections in Whitfield and Murray counties tend to be low key. In fact, we can’t recall the last time an incumbent judge on the Conasauga Superior Court, which cover the two counties, has even faced a challenger.

    April 12, 2014