September 13, 2013

Chris Whitfield: Unbeatens should fear the Reaper

— “Came a last night of sadness, and it was clear that she couldn’t go on. Then the door was open and the wind appeared. The candles blew and then disappeared. The curtains flew and then he appeared, saying, ‘Don’t be afraid.’”

— “Don’t Fear the Reaper” by Blue Oyster Cult

Bwahahahaha! Welcome to Friday the 13th! Welcome to the dreaded day for friggatriskaidekaphobia. I didn’t make that up either. That is the actual name for the fear of Friday the 13th.

My only fear is that they will make another sorry horror movie about a little boy who drowned in a lake. Most people forget that the “Jason” character from the Friday the 13th films wasn’t the original villain in the movie. It was Jason’s mother, Mrs. Vorhees, who rammed a steel rod through Kevin Bacon’s chest and killed the rest of the counselors at Camp Crystal Lake.

There have been plenty of scary characters throughout the sports and sports entertainment genre through the years. Vince Lombardi was pretty scary to a 5-year-old kid watching NFL Films on Saturday afternoon. Ray Lewis coming out of the fog at a Ravens (a scary birdie thanks to Mr. Poe) game is intense to say the least. The Pittsburgh Penguins even have a player named Satan. Tonya Harding could have her own devious series on Showtime, and who can’t help my get chills when the lights go out and the sound of The Undertaker’s music hits in a wrestling arena.

Locally, Northwest Whitfield defensive lineman Isaiah Mack is really scary, except when he has his glasses on. Thank goodness Dalton’s Eder Mora uses his powers for good or else he would be unstoppable as a villain. It would take all of the Marvel super heroes just to have a chance against Mora.

 The cannon at Southeast Whitfield is pretty scary too, but only if you aren’t expecting it and you are trying to take a drink from a Diet Coke in the press box. Then it is scary and messy. And for some reason, Preston Poag’s head shot in the newspaper gives me the creeps as well.

(Sorry, Preston, you just keep asking for it.)

But there is nothing scary about your Guru of Gridiron Guessing, unless you take the two faces of Whitfield teaser on the front of the paper seriously. And you should take it seriously, or I will sneak into your stadium and cut off all of your chances of making the playoffs. Bwahahahaha!

It was another stellar week for your peerless prep pigskin prognosticator, putting together a 4-1 record last week to move to 8-2 on the year, which will get me into the playoffs. Come, let’s walk along a dark wooden trail or go investigate that noise you here and find out about this week’s games.

Game of the Week: Southeast Whitfield at Gilmer (don’t call us County): The Raiders are celebrating a 2-0 start to the season, and if they continue to work hard and not get a big head, this could be a magical season for the boys in maroon. But last week’s win over a very bad Gordon Central team will not be pointed to with a lot of pride.

If the Raiders play that way this week against a Gilmer team which always proves to be a tough win, then things will get scary in a hurry. Southeast has talent and some scoring potential, and the defense has been stellar. But let’s not start ordering playoff tickets just yet.

The truth of the matter is that Southeast’s defense has looked good because of the competition. North Murray looked just like an offense replacing just about everything would look like, and Gordon Central looked like all of its offense had been sucked away by Dracula. I want to pick you to win, Raiders, and if it were at home, I would. But...

C’mon, Southeast fans, you know you live to hate me, so after two weeks of picking you to win, here comes your nightmare.

Whit’s Pick: Gilmer 21, Southeast Whitfield 20

Pickens (don’t call us County) at Northwest Whitfield: Last year against Dalton in the Region 7-4A crossover game, Pickens looked like Jamie Lee Curtis when she first saw Michael Myers — absolutely terrified. The Dragons — a scary beast if there ever was one — won’t be that way this week.

Bruins are mighty fierce as well, but I am wondering if the 38-20 win over Pepperell is because Northwest is that good or because Pepperell is that bad. Either way, I see this being a bad week for Whitfield County teams. Upset pick of the week, and if I am wrong, be sure to let me hear it since I will be in Tunnel Hill tonight.

Whit’s Pick: Pickens 28, Northwest Whitfield 24

Christian Heritage at Coahulla Creek: Quarterback Trevor Brown is putting together some eye-popping numbers over at Christian Heritage. He has the Lions primed for a run to the Class A private school playoffs, while Coahulla Creek is just trying to compete. Ever seen a lion on the hunt? Ever seen a lion chasing down a zebra. Colts are really close to being a zebra.

Whit’s Pick: Christian Heritage 35, Coahulla Creek 17

Johnson-Gainesville at North Murray: The Mountaineers are struggling to get over the hump, but at least the offense is scoring points. They should score some more this week after Johnson gave up 63 points to North Hall last week.

Whit’s Pick: North Murray 42, Johnson-Gainesville 18

Murray (do call us) County at Gordon Central: Your personal nightmare will be ending soon, Murray County, and you match up a lot better with Gordon Central than you do just about any other team on your schedule. But Gordon has the one thing sorely lacking from the boys in Chatsworth — speed. Remember in the horror movies how the guy chasing you never has to run after you because you keep tripping and falling over roots in the woods? Yeah, that fits.

Whit’s Pick: Gordon Central 28, Murray County 20

Chris Whitfield is a sports writer with The Daily Citizen. His favorite scary character is Viking Elmer Fudd with his sword and magic helmet. Contact him at